


two steps farther/one step closer

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6479344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>soonyoung, wonwoo, and a lesson in growing apart/distance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. distance

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is written in this/that format, a slash (/) separates the story in two ways it could've taken place, whether it be something different was said or a different set of events took place

**01.04.16**

"yo," wonwoo says when soonyoung picks up. 

"yo/hey," soonyoung says back, he's got his phone pressed in between the junction of his ear and shoulder and wonwoo can hear him shuffling around with something. there's a flicking sound, then something moving around. 

"are you smoking again?" wonwoo asks, a note of frustration in his voice, somewhere below the careless tone and over something else. soonyoung can't figure out.

"nah/i was," soonyoung says, shaking his head. "i'm cooking/now i'm cooking."

he bangs on one of his pots to demonstrate. his cigarette is burnt out on the counter, abandoned the minute he saw the number. he glances at it, then sweeps it into the trash. 

there's a pause, wonwoo breathes out. soonyoung can't tell if it's a sigh or not. "that's good. what're you making?/you should stop properly already. what're you making?"

"uh, ramen. noodles, normal normal noodles/i will, i will jeez mom. I have no idea actually," soonyoung says, grabbing a saltshaker and a pack of instant! from the cupboard. before, it would've been a 'you can cook?' with a snort. now it's not. "gotta love having no money."

wonwoo laughs, it's crackly over the phone but it's got the same bark like in real life. soonyoung misses it. "how's it on your end, huh?/i miss your laugh."

there's a pause, then wonwoo speaks. "everything's going. i dunno, it feels like everyone's going somewhere or landing jobs or something. minghao's part-timing as an instructor somewhere/yeah, me too." 

soonyoung taps on the counter, turns up the knob so the water will boil faster. he smiles/he thinks for a sec.

"ahh, my favourite kid. i always knew he'd go far in life. how's the new crew he's setting up?/you miss your own laugh, really? has my own absence left you so despondent that you can no longer feel happiness? no longer laugh?"

"i bet you've replaced him already. who's the dinosaur kid that keeps replying to all your tweets? everytime he buts into one of our threads minghao looks ready to punch the screen. i'm pretty sure he blocked the guy/i didn't mean it like that! i miss your laugh too, that's what i meant, although..."

soonyoung laughs at that, and the conversations moves on. it's not so bad. he’s eating crappy ramen in an one room apartment, on a kitchen counter with one light on in the entire place. wonwoo’s voice fills the silence, occasionally being cut by static and bad connection, but it's okay. the apartment's still quiet and empty, when they hang up. and soonyoung’s a little less lonely than before, but more than he was during the call. 

they end the call when it's past midnight, he has work at eight a.m tomorrow and so does wonwoo. the goodbye is crackly over the phone, soonyoung’s heartbeat feels too loud.

 

**10.19.15**

over the next couple weeks, he realizes he can just get unlimited data for his phone and screw legit wifi. he’s not home enough to justify getting it. 

“which means,” he says to wonwoo over the phone, leaning towards the window, looking out. “i can't skype.”

there's a groan from the other end, and then, complaining about international call fees. soonyoung shrugs, wonwoo hears it. “did you just shrug at me?”

“maybe.”

“soonyoung, it's like 4 won a minute and you talk way too much. everything will pile up and i will be in debt.”

he's not saying something. soonyoung was his roommate for three years, wonwoo only talks like this when he's not saying what he wants to say. it's making him nervous, he moves away from the window. starts walking around his place.

“if you weren't lazy as fuck, we could text.”

“it takes too much effort to talk in anything but emoticons, soonyoung you know this/it's not the same as face to face.”

of course, soonyoung thinks/oh _. _ “you should learn from junhui, he mastered the art of conveying speech through literature  _ and _ art at the same time/i know. it's shitty sorry.”

“he uses the eggplant emoji in every text, ew no/it's not your fault man. what is your fault though, is choosing to move so far away. you really couldn't stay in korea?”

“hey, having a large libido is healthy!/it's only an hour and a half away!”

“still gross/two hours. by plane.”

soonyoung spins a glass on the counter around. “mhmm. sure man.”

wonwoo hangs up on him. soonyoung spends the next half an hour texting peach and eggplant emojis at him. only after soonyoung's spammed him with the entirety of a really suspicious sticker set, does he reply. it's one word: stop.

soonyoung does.

 

 

 

**02.13.16**

he has to wake up at 6am for work, turns out choreographing a dance with five other professionals means figuring out one hand movement takes half an hour and not three seconds like in university. it's tough, but it's fun. that's what he tells wonwoo over the phone, when soonyoung forgets it's 3 in the morning and calls him after getting home.

wonwoo sounds grumbly and tired, but he stays up for another half an hour. soonyoung talks about his day like wonwoo’s been sitting with dinner at the table, waiting for him. it's not that, but the feeling is the same. wonwoo’s voice is crackly over the phone, and he sounds the same tired soonyoung’s always known. aching bones and sagging shoulders, nothing new nothing old. 

they're a thousand kilometres apart, but home is still the same place/soonyoung calls wonwoo at six am when he forgets it's six am, but wonwoo still picks up on the second ring.

“i swear it's too early for you to be up right now,” soonyoung says, putting coffee into the grinder. wonwoo groans in response.

“mingyu set my ringtone as something emo with screaming.”

“ah, that explains it, it suites you. what's up? how's your morning going so far?” soonyoung chirps, putting the phone right next to the coffee machine.

there's vague yelling, a couple f-bombs and then the line goes dead.

soonyoung calls back after his coffee is finished, and wonwoo yells into the phone again. there's something about ‘fucking worst fucking asshole hate you’ soonyoung would call him out on grammar, but he doesn't. 

“fuck you, you're probably laughing at this aren't you. it's six fucking am why the fuck would you call me. fuck off soonyoung.”

he is smiling, very very wide. wonwoo sighs, and soonyoung greets everyone he sees that day with a smile.

 

**05.14.16**

“i’m dating someone,” soonyoung says over the phone. he plays with the bedsheet, spelling out  _ j-o-s-h-u-a _ thinking maybe he won't have to say it.

wonwoo grunts out a “that's nice.” and they're quiet for the next while. soonyoung doesn't know what he expected from this. a confrontation? a confession? for the dullness in their conversations to go away? no, they only got heavier.

it turns out, soonyoung doesn't need to say anything at all, wonwoo doesn't ask if it's the guy he just became friends with on facebook or if it's a sweaty palms kind of fling. soonyoung answers every question wonwoo doesn't have. 

none/soonyoung calls him right when he gets home, dropping keys somewhere on the counter as he's typing in the call card number. when it tells him his account balance, he never mentions to wonwoo how every call costs him four bucks a month. wonwoo never mentions the expenses on his end either.

wonwoo picks up on the third ring and soonyoung’s on his couch, starting his story as soon as he hears the  _ yo _ .

basically, there's a guy at work who likes him and soonyoung really needs a second opinion on whether he should go for it or not.

wonwoo tells him to consider the possibility of marriage very seriously if he's going to waste so much of wonwoo's day talking about a guy.

soonyoung interjects how it's not  _ that _ serious or drastic. wonwoo disagrees.

it's another hour and a half before they hang up, and when soonyoung’s debating on texting joshua or not, he realizes wonwoo told him not to.

“marriage at 25 sucks ass, man.”

maybe if you're getting married to the wrong person, soonyoung thinks.

 

**06.20.16**

after soonyoung starts dating joshua, and his facebook updates are filled with ‘XDDD’ comments and nearly every instagram update has joshua, they talk less and less. maybe it’s because soonyoung’s busier now, he actually has friends and a boyfriend. he gets home at 12 the earliest most of the time, and it’s always too late to call. 

maybe it’s not. wonwoo hasn’t liked a single instagram update since soonyoung’s updates became couple pics with josh- because they are a cute-gross couple like that, he doesn’t leave comments on any statuses soonyoung makes anymore, and there’s just the weirdest radio silence.

jeonghan posts a pic with wonwoo on a thursday, two months after soonyoung told him about joshua. they’re on a date, judging by the caption and sure, their conversations are mostly dead and about tv shows, but wonwoo could’ve said something. 

soonyoung texts him about it. wonwoo said it didn’t go anywhere.

it's summer, staring outside his window the sky is blue in the only way it can be with no clouds in sight. there's no wind and it's so dry. he has a little plant growing on his windowsill, some of it's leaves are turning yellow.

nothing feels alive. in summer, cicadas are supposed to be the constant buzz in the background, there should be cars honking at each other on the street- every driver begging to get out of this heat, kids out on the streets playing hopscotch, girls in white short shorts staining them pink and blue with melting popsicles. 

today, there is nothing. wonwoo said he would visit when june rolled around, it's halfway through and he's been as silent as this heat.

/

when wonwoo visits, he only has one piece of luggage, soonyoung only has one set of keys.

when he got dropped off by chan, it was drizzling. when they're running to catch a bus, it's fucking pouring. soonyoung gets soaked in two seconds flat, wonwoo in three. it's a freak shower, and both of them are left- standing by the bus stop, looking up at it in amazement.

it's still summer, the air is still hot and humid as fuck. but there's rain, not cold- cool, falling from the sky. like giants are up there stomping on the clouds.

there’s a honk- soonyoung grabs wonwoo by the wrist and pulls him off the curb. osaka is loud, hot and messy this time of year, like every other big city and today is no different.

wonwoo looks at soonyoung, half a grin on his face and says. “it's just like seoul.”

“oh how many times have i saved your life already?” soonyoung laughs back. he's thinking of crosswalks and always pulling wonwoo to move forward or back. they've been honked at so many times, and it's been nine months since the last time they saw each other in real life.

this is still the same.

-

 

**09.09.15**

he remembers the conversation they had a month before today.

a month before soonyoung left, wonwoo was lying in bed beside him, shoulders pressed together and wonwoo’s arm slung over soonyoung’s.

“are you seriously gonna move to osaka?” wonwoo asked, soonyoung can't remember how husky his voice was then, must've been a little at least his best friend and roommate was going to leave for another country soon.

“i should, shouldn't i? it's a really good opportunity and the pay is good and it would be good for me,” soonyoung says, his palms feel a little sweaty. he taps the side of his leg, the one that’s not beside wonwoo’s. 

wonwoo hmms next to him. soonyoung waits, he doesn’t say anything/after a couple seconds (twelve, soonyoung counts) he says. “you would be leaving everyone here behind.”

soonyoung answers. “it’s something i really want to do man/i would wouldn’t i? worse things have happened.”

“and there’s no opportunities for dance in seoul?/dude, what happened to roommate bros forever?”

soonyoung looks away/soonyoung laughs.

“this one is amazing, though/you’ll always be my roommate in my heart. listen, i swear when i get my new apartment i’ll leave a corner just for you. i’ll put up pictures of oh my girl and make a mini shrine to seunghee. just for you bro.”

wonwoo looks at him, soonyoung looks back. “nothing is seoul is amazing enough?/you’re still leaving.”

wonwoo’s smile after winning a round of mario kart is amazing, his laugh when someone makes a good joke and the way his eyes crinkle. those are all amazing enough, but soonyoung won’t choose someone he can’t have over something he can. he doesn’t know what it’s like to love someone that fucking much/and, that soonyoung is.


	2. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> life in certainty

the first time soonyoung falls asleep next to joshua, he realizes: this is his life.

he's going to date joshua for three more years, they're not going to break up, not even once, and soonyoung’s going to propose to him june 19th, 2020.

they're going to have one of those small church weddings, and at some point (2025) they're going to move to america.

wonwoo will be another name on his friend list. that's going to be his life, he's gonna be happy.

-

when wonwoo comes over, soonyoung’s spends an hour lamenting about the rain. wonwoo laughs beside him. it's the first time in months soonyoung’s heard that sound without any static or crackles. it hits him then;this could be his life.

he's going to stay in osaka for three more months, then move back to seoul. there's an empty bedroom in wonwoo’s apartment that's been saved for him, but he’ll crawl into the sliver of space left on wonwoo’s bed. firmly lodge himself into the space between wonwoo’s ribs and left lung, and realize, it's hard to grow out of people.

they'll sleep like that for the next three months. and one night after, soonyoung will crawl into bed soaked to bone from the sudden shower- wonwoo will grumble into his pillow and try to keep the blanket, soonyoung will kiss him then.

nothing else. they will fall asleep to the same heartbeat and soonyoung will be happy. uncertain, but happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a personal story and i think, it might turn out more like / after.
> 
> leave a comment or something

**Author's Note:**

> [evon](hyunsoeng.tumblr.com): light of my life, block's b be my light was written about my feelings towards u, love u 4ever
> 
> [lee hi's breathe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iSlfF8TQ9k) was played in Obnoxious amounts while writing this. the title was inspired by [oh my girl's one step, two steps](https://youtu.be/Why9U46a4qM)


End file.
